The New Year...Another New Diet

OK, we are into a new year and all you see on TV are ads for exercise equipment and diets.
This diet is a classic!

So much for Weight Watchers:



Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Walmart, for our

Dogs. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think, that I had an elephant?

Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't

Have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I

probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the

bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive

care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both

arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it

works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two

every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I

was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically

everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food

had poisoned me.

I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my ass

and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was

laughing so hard! WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.

I don't think any of us here at Coyote Ridge will be continuing this diet anytime soon....or visiting Walmart till our restrictions are lifted.