My Experience at Wal*Mart

OK, those of you who know me are well aware of the fact that I HATE shopping...unless I am shopping for something I really want.

We made the Christmas shopping trip to Walmart and to break up the bordom, I decided to be myself and have a good time, like I try to do everytime I visit the store.

I guess, being me was not appreciated by store management as evidensed by the following letter:




Dear Mrs. Meyer,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may
be
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against
Mr.Meyer are listed below and are documented by our video
surveillance
cameras

>> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
>> people's
>> carts when they weren't looking.
>>
>> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
>> 5-minute
>> intervals.
>>
>> 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
>> the
>> women's restroom.
>>
>> 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
>> voice,"Code 3 in House wares Get on it right away."
>>
>> 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
>> M&M's on
>> layaway.
>>
>>
>> 6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a
>> carpeted area.
>>
>> 7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and
>> told
>> other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows
>> and
>> Blankets from the bedding department.
>>
>> 8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he
>> began
>> crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
>>
>> 9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it
>> as a
>> mirror while he picked his nose.
>>
>> 10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
>> he
>> Asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
>>
>> 11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while
>> loudly
>> Humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
>>
>> 12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his
>> "Madonna look"
>> by using different sizes of funnels.
>>
>> 13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
>> through,yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
>>
>> 14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
>> speaker,
>> He assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE
>> VOICES
>> AGAIN!"
>>
>> And last, but not least ....
>>
>> 15. December 12: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
>> awhile,
>> then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
>>
>> Yours very truly,
>>
>> Management of Wal-Mart