I made it out of town for this week's business trip early Tuesday morning. All the highways had been closed down until that morning because of drifting snow and near zero visibility.
Once I made it out onto the highway it was clear sailing all the way to Minneapolis,MN. Wednesday evening for the trip home, it was also un-eventful....just the way I like it.
I ran across this the other day and found a lot of truth in it....I don't know if that is good or bad!
A group of 40 year old buddies discuss where they should meet for dinner.
Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at Gasthaus Gutenberger
restaurant because the waitress's there have low cut blouses and nice breasts.
10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again
they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they
should meet at the Gasthaus Gutenberger because the food there is very good and
the wine selection is good also.
10 years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again
they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should
meet at the Gasthaus Gutenberger because they can eat there in peace and
quiet and the restaurant is smoke free.
10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again
they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon
that they should meet at the Gasthaus Gutenberger because the restaurant is
wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator.
10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again
they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they
should meet at the Gasthaus Gutenberger because they heard the waitress's there
have low cut blouses, nice breasts and they have never been there before.???
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Here We Go Again...and Again....
Should I be tired of Winter already? It is only January and to be honest, Spring won't get here soon enough.
We are under a blizzard warning...again!
The good news is that we made it home without incident. Getting out through the drifts tomorrow morning will be a different story.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
The New Year...Another New Diet
OK, we are into a new year and all you see on TV are ads for exercise equipment and diets.
This diet is a classic!
So much for Weight Watchers:
Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Walmart, for our
Dogs. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think, that I had an elephant?
Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't
Have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I
probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the
bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both
arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I
was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically
everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food
had poisoned me.
I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my ass
and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard! WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.
I don't think any of us here at Coyote Ridge will be continuing this diet anytime soon....or visiting Walmart till our restrictions are lifted.
This diet is a classic!
So much for Weight Watchers:
Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Walmart, for our
Dogs. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think, that I had an elephant?
Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't
Have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I
probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the
bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both
arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I
was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically
everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food
had poisoned me.
I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my ass
and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard! WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.
I don't think any of us here at Coyote Ridge will be continuing this diet anytime soon....or visiting Walmart till our restrictions are lifted.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Another Way of Looking at Things
With all the horrific news about Haiti I think it is about time that we look at how blessed we really are> So often I find myself wishing I had this or that. Most of the time (99%) the want is just that, a want, not a need.
A friend of mine sent this to me recently, (thanks Larry) and it really opened my eyes.
One day , the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip , the father asked his son , "How was the trip?"
"It was great , Dad.."
"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah , " said the son.
"So , tell me , what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.
�
The son answered:
"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool� that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.
We have servants who serve us , but they serve others.
We buy our food , but they grow theirs..
We have walls around our property to protect us , they have friends to protect them."
�
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added ,�� "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."
Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.
Powerful stuff!
A friend of mine sent this to me recently, (thanks Larry) and it really opened my eyes.
One day , the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.
On their return from their trip , the father asked his son , "How was the trip?"
"It was great , Dad.."
"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah , " said the son.
"So , tell me , what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.
�
The son answered:
"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool� that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.
We have servants who serve us , but they serve others.
We buy our food , but they grow theirs..
We have walls around our property to protect us , they have friends to protect them."
�
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added ,�� "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."
Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.
Powerful stuff!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Most Men Will Laugh...Some Women Might
I expect a few smiles after reading this.....
MEN ARE JUST PEOPLE
NICKNAMES:
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike , Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mike , Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS:
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel ..
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
Any truth to the above observations?
MEN ARE JUST PEOPLE
NICKNAMES:
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike , Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mike , Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS:
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel ..
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
Any truth to the above observations?
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Ever Feel Like This?
We’re in trouble…
The Population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 20 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.
Which leaves 17.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 15.8 million people who work for state and city governments
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are, sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes.
Nice. Real nice.
The Population of this country is 300 million.
160 million are retired.
That leaves 140 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school.
Which leaves 55 million to do the work.
Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.
Leaving 20 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden.
Which leaves 17.2 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 15.8 million people who work for state and city governments
And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.
Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are, sitting on your ass, at your computer, reading jokes.
Nice. Real nice.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Nothing To Whine About
For more than three weeks we have been getting blasted with an unusual amount of snow and drifting as well as temperatures approaching -30 degrees.
After seeing these pictures, I have determined we really can't complain too much about the weather.
As a Minnesotan, we have earned the right to complain about the weather. We just have to be careful about how much we complain.
After seeing these pictures, I have determined we really can't complain too much about the weather.
As a Minnesotan, we have earned the right to complain about the weather. We just have to be careful about how much we complain.
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